Return of the Assassin by Donya Lynne ( Guest Post/Giveaway)

Today author Donya Lynne is joining us with a special guest on her RETURN OF THE ASSASSIN blog tour. Enjoy!

Return of the Assassin Blog Tour - Malek Talks About Loss and Love

Hi, I'm Malek, the hero from Donya Lynne's new book, Return of the Assassin. Thank you for having me here today.

I know I'm not the only person who's loved and lost—and loved again, but I bet I'm the only thousand-year-old vampire you've met who has. Back in the late Middle Ages, I mated a beautiful human named Carmen. She had long, auburn hair, and innocent eyes. And she loved to read. Back then, not many could read, but she could, and she had a couple of leather-bound books she read over and over. It didn't matter how many times she read those books, either. Her eyes would grow wide, her dainty lips would part, and inevitably, her fingertips lifted to her collar, where they barely brushed against her skin, as she lost herself in the story. I loved watching her read and would often just sit quietly and smile as she turned each page as if mesmerized by the words.

I'm sure some of you know the feeling, yes?

Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to turn Carmen into a davala, which is an immortal female who was once human but was changed through the bite of her vampire mate. One morning, just before dawn, I returned to our cottage after tending the fields to find her lying on the floor. She'd had a stroke and fallen off a step stool. Her back was broken. I didn't even get to say good-bye.

For a mated male vampire, the death of his mate can oftentimes kill him. I've seen many who couldn't survive the death of a mate and dwindled away in a psychotic wasteland until their bodies finally gave out. Strange since we're immortal, but sometimes loss is too great for even our undying flesh to endure. My best friend, Micah, almost lost his life to mate loss, too, but somehow we both managed to survive. While Micah enduring the suffering as he mourned the loss of his mate, I refused to accept Carmen's death and chose to believe she was only sleeping.

Crazy, I know, because the truth has a way of coming back around no matter how hard we try to suppress it, and I learned that lesson the hard way when I met Gina. Here I thought I had everything under control, and then Gina came into my life and awakened a part of me I'd tucked away a long, long time ago.

Gina is an assassin who came to Chicago a couple of months ago to hunt down one of my teammates, Severin. She thought Sev was responsible for her brother's death and sought to avenge him. She failed, and luckily she did, because Sev was innocent. But her attempt on Sev's life was what brought her into mine.

I took one look at her and fell. Hard. My body came back to life, and I felt the mating link fire for her almost immediately. Unfortunately, my dormant suffering for Carmen came back to life, too, because I couldn't take another mate until I had properly mourned Carmen's death. But I didn't want to.

God, I was such an ass, behaving like two different people at war with each other. I knew I had mated Gina, and I knew Carmen was gone, but I didn't want to accept Carmen's death. The worst of it was that I thought if I accepted Gina as my mate, I would somehow be cheating on Carmen. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. I was miserable, caught between two extremes. I wanted Gina, but I wanted Carmen, too. It's hard for us males. Be lucky you're human. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone.

Those of you who've ever been madly, deeply in love and lost loved ones might be able to relate at least a little to what I went through. Imagine your sorrow multiplied by a hundred. Add to that the most unbelievable, magical love you've ever felt times fifty. Imagine you're locked inside one body, one mind, both miserable and beyond ecstatic all at once…and then add in a dose of guilt and misery because the one you love isn't with you. That's just a hint of the hell I went through as I fought myself over Carmen's loss and my new love for Gina.

But Mother Nature has a way of balancing things out, and she didn't disappoint in Return of the Assassin, where my story is laid out for you all to enjoy.

I hope you enjoy Return of the Assassin and my tormented love story as much as Donya enjoyed writing it. It wasn't easy on me, but as long as I get my happy ending with Gina, I won't complain about the torment I went through to get it. But be warned, I hear this book is an emotional ride…a real tear jerker. Bring your tissues.

Excerpt from Return of the Assassin

Malek choked back his emotion.
Somewhere between Micah's office and the thick concrete column he held Gina against, Malek's reserve had broken. Just that quickly, Gina had skinned him, cleaned him, and thrown him on the grill, making short work of all that remained of his denial that she was his mate.
In a blink, she had disarmed him. Only a mate held such power over a male.
Had it been Gina's ruthless verbal assault all the way down the stairs that had finally broken through his walls? Or the mention of her former mate and what he had done to her, which sparked Malek's need to protect her? Had it been her confession that she had heard his proclamation in her cell weeks ago? Or was it the simple truth that she was, in fact, his mate? And, as such, she had tremendous power over him?
How about all of the above?
What torment had she suffered at the hands of that half-Dacian bastard she had been mated to before? What had he done to her? And how had she survived? He pulled back, and his gaze ranged her face. Such beauty, such fire. She stole his breath, and he swayed from her heady scent. He would treat her like a queen. His queen. And he would revere and bow to her command every day, tend to her needs, care for her, and protect her with his life if he had to.
What was happening to him? He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. In her bewitching way, Gina drew him in. She was a blossom, and he was the honeybee eager for her nectar.
But what he had said that day in her cell was still true. He wasn't worthy of her. She deserved more than he could give. As much as he wanted to be her everything, he knew he couldn't.
His resolve waned. He could no longer deny how much he wanted Gina, but he still couldn't have her. It would be unfair to claim her when he still clung to a ghost. Carmen still held him in the past. Carmen still possessed half his heart, which meant he couldn't give all of himself to Gina. And she deserved all of him, not merely a part.
Sacrifice replaced anger. Compassion replaced aggression. Gina had already suffered enough pain at the hands of another, and all Malek could offer her was more of the same. With his heart in two places, he would always pull her to him then push her away, just as he had done from the moment he saw her in Micah's office. She would be a Ping-Pong ball. Back and forth, back and forth. He would constantly fight himself to reconcile the two halves of his heart into one, and that wasn't fair to her. To try and make a life with her under such circumstances—to cheat her out of a full life with someone else who could give her his whole heart and not just half—would be selfish. Not only that, it was degrading and disrespectful to her.
What was happening between them could never be. He simply couldn’t let her into his heart. Not because he no longer wanted to. Because, damn him, he did. But how do you let someone into your heart when half of it still lies with another?
In a blink, the reality slammed him with a pain more brutal than what he'd suffered so far, because this pain came with clarity of mind, body, and soul. He would always cause Gina pain. It was inevitable. Even if he claimed her as his mate, he would always hurt her. Why? Because a part of him—the part still attached to Carmen—would always drive Gina away.
Frowning, he looked down and stepped back. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but this can’t happen, Gina. No matter how much I don’t want to, I will always hurt you.” He turned, lowered his head, and walked away, a man defeated by himself.

Return of the Assassin
All the King's Men - Book 5
3rd place winner - RWA Heart of the West contest
"If you've been waiting for the next Black Dagger Brotherhood, this is it…" -GraveTells Review
Goodreads | Amazon | B&N

Assassin Gina Carano doesn't have time for love. In fact, the last thing she wants is a mate. But Gina can't stop thinking about Malek, the handsome AKM enforcer she met in Chicago. And now she's beginning to fear Malek's memory is the reason for her crippling panic attacks, which have assaulted her relentlessly since she left him.
Malek has never dealt with the centuries-old death of his first mate, but now that he's formed a new mating link to Gina, he has no choice. Stuck between the agony of mourning and the despair of being without Gina, his mind fractures as he attempts to reconcile the two halves of himself.
When Gina botches a hit on two vicious vampires in Miami, she reluctantly flees back to Chicago, where Malek must choose between the past and the future before he loses Gina forever.

Warning: This book contains explicit sexual content, sensitive subject matter, references to non-traditional/alternative lifestyles, and strong profanity.


Donya Lynne Bio

Donya Lynne is the author of the award winning All the King's Men Series. Making her home in a wooded suburb north of Indianapolis with her husband, Donya has lived in Indiana most of her life and knew at a young age that she was destined to be a writer. She started writing poetry in grade school and won her first short story contest in fourth grade. In junior high, she began writing romantic stories for her friends, and by her sophomore year, they had dubbed her Most Likely to Become a Romance Novelist. In 2012, she made that dream come true by publishing her first two novels and two novellas. She has several more stories planned for the AKM Series, as well as two sister series that are in development. http://www.donyalynne.com/

Giveaway:
Donya is giving away one ebook of Return of the Assassin to one reader.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Two Grand Prizes will be given away at the end of the tour, drawing to be held on Christmas Day (Merry Christmas!). A rafflecopter code is included below for each blogger to include in their post. The first name drawn will have their choice of the following two prizes, and the second name drawn will receive the other. The two prizes are valued at $210 each and include:

Grand Prize #1: Coach bag and a $50 Amazon gift card
Grand Prize #2: The newest version of the Kindle Paper White, leather cover (winner's choice of color), and an AKM blanket

a Rafflecopter giveaway